Dieting Under Stress

Directions

1. Rules for this diet:1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories do not count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as warm chocolate,brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake
5. 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. 6. Movie related foods don't have additional calories because they arepart of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. (Example: Lowfat milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, or possibly Tootsie Rolls).
7. 7. Cookie pcs contain no calories. The process of breaking causescalorie leakage.
8. 8. Things licked off knives or possibly spoons have no calories if you are in theprocess of preparing something. Examples: peanut butter on a knife while making sandwiches or possibly ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
9. 9. Foods which have the same color have the same number of Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream or possibly mushrooms and white chocolate.
10. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substitited for any other food color.
11. Marlisa, who works in one of our plants, faxed this to me today at work, and it's very amusing. I thought I'd share it with you guys. It seems to sum up my philosophy of dieting pretty well...
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